American Idol 3 has now been on the air for about six weeks and it's made William Hung famous and taught us how not to scat, should we ever feel compelled to do so. All very good things. I guess. When the show started, I told myself I was going to do regular features with updates on who I liked and who sucked and all that good stuff. But I never do what I plan to do so let's get straight to the point and say that Eric Yoder was hot and he was robbed. ROBBED. Okay, maybe not robbed, but definitely hot. Tonight's episode of AI was actually the fourth semi-final-round show. Next week they'll probably have the wildcard show, during which time they best be bringing back Eric. But since I'm not holding my breath, I'll forgo the I Love Eric column and do a First-Ever Fourth Semi-Final Episode Recap Special. Hurray! "Hi, I'm Ryan Seacrest, also known as the Incredibly Hot One, and I am here to welcome you to an all-new episode of American Idol. It is now time for me to insult the judges -- well, okay, the guy judges -- and kiss up to Paula, for reasons even unbeknownst to me. Randy... yada yada... Paula... blah blah... Simon... $^@$ you... all right, moving on...." "I'm just so friggin excited I can hardly contain myself! Who's up first?" "Am I first? Am I, huh huh?" (Several singers later...) Paula: "AUGH! Stop! My eardrums! The pain!" Simon: "What the bloody hell was that?" "Ummm..." "I dunno..." "Oh wait, yeah, I know! MUSIC! Hehehe! I'm smart." {silence} "That was... oh damnit, I can't lie... I want to yank out my internal organs NOW." "Please never sing in public ever again!" "I think I'm going to... um what's the American term for 'lose one's cookies'?" "I think that's my cue to wrap this up. But before we go..." "...Andrea? This hot pose is for YOU. Mmmhmm. Join us next week when we bring back the infamous KATIE WEBER!" Yeah tell me about it. Leave a message in the guestbook to comment on this article. :) (c)2004 AlligatorJuice.com