Episode One | Episode Two Poor NBC. ABC, FOX and CBS are kicking their butts this season, Neilsen-style. The other networks have reality show hits such as American Idol, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, and Survivor. What does NBC have? Well, the 300th episode of Fear Factor IS in the process of being filmed, but... no... the execs know they need something kickass and they need it NOW. And thus, Brotherly Idolizer is born. The press is calling it American Idol and Survivor meet Big Brother... and for good reason. NBC actually managed to snag some castoffs from other networks' reality shows. Rob and Amber, formerly of Survivor and The Amazing Race came at a bargain-basement price, and so NBC hired both. NBC also signed a deal that allowed them to "borrow" Constantine and Mikalah from American Idol; the two will still compete on Idol, but instead of living in the AI mansion, they'll live at NBC Studios during the week, in a little house equipped with cameras. Each month, one member of the household will be eliminated, and will therefore be kicked out of the humble dwelling. The last person to remain in the house will earn 1 MILLION DOLLARS!! MEET THE CONTESTANTS (L-R: Constantine, Rob, Amber, and Mikalah) And so it begins... **OUTSIDE THE BROTHERLY IDOLIZER HOUSE** "Oh my gosh, Rob, it's so quaint!" "Yeah it's cool. Hey Amba, wanna form an alliance?" "Ro-ob, the other people can HEAR us!" "You guys are going DOWN! How's my hair?" "YOUR hair, how's MY hair? LIKE OH MY GOD THERE IS A CAMERA POINTING AT US LIKE RIGHT NOW!" "YOU'S goin' down cuz I have a stealthy plan. You wanna know what it is? I'm so proud of it, I gotta tell somebody!" "Rob, I can't remember my name... help me..." "Look at your shirt, my little honey bunches of oats!" "Ohhhh, thanks." "So anyway, like I was saying about my plan..." Announcer Guy: "Contestants, the door is now unlocked. Please enter the house." Later... "Seriously, Amba... we should discuss strategy." "But it's the first day!" "It's never too soon. Wait a minute. Where are Constantine and Mikalah?" "Inside. Why?" "Augh! They could be strategizing against us RIGHT NOW! Quick, get back inside!" Meanwhile... "Oh Constantine, you hunkscious hunk, you!" "Deargh! Get off me! I'm like twelve years older than you are!" "But when you're 100 and I'm... um... uh... well, you know, ALSO old... it won't even MATTER!" "It'll always matter. Ew." The next day... "I can't believe we've been in the house now for 24 hours! That's almost a whole day!" "Heh, yeah I know. I mean, like, when I was on Survivor, the time went so SLOWLY, but here it goes fast." "I loved you on Survivor. You were my favorite." "Thanks." "Hey, so listen... just between us girls... I think WE should stick together and form our own alliance. You probably already have one with Rob, and I shouldn't even be saying this, but I am head-over-heels in love with Constantine, so I am totally going to align with him as well, but I think you and I should align, okay?" "Um, well..." "I love your hair. It is so silky and smooth." "Why, thank you!" "So anyway, about this alliance..." "...?" Later... "This game is ours, sugar pie." "You said it, my prince." Audience: *throws up* Later that week... "What are you making?" "Mac and cheese. You?" "A pie. That sure smells good." "Thanks." "Hard to believe we've been in here a week, now, huh?" "Yep." "At least YOU get to escape twice a week to go on AI." "Yep." "They let us watch the show the other day. You was the best singer on there, I thought." "Thanks." "Sooo..." "So." "So I really like your hair. I've been thinking of growing mine out to look just like--" "Rob." "What?' "You're not getting any of this mac and cheese." "YOU SUCK!" Later that night... "Honey, is something wrong?" "I heard you in there, talking to Constantine. You were trying to butter him up, to get his food." "I was hungry!" "He is NOT on our side. You are NOT to be nice to him. He is our enemy." "Good thinkin', my pumpkin... you're right. We must flatten him!" Will Rob and Amber succeed in bringing Constantine down? Will Mikalah succeed in driving everyone nuts? And what is up with THIS...? Find out... on the next exciting episode of BROTHERLY IDOLIZER! 3/20/05 Screen caps by Andrea G. :) Leave a message in the guestbook to comment on this article. :) (c)2005 AlligatorJuice.com Disclaimer: The events depicted on this webpage are fictional, don't give yourself a coronary.