So if there was a list along the lines of 10 Ways to Tell You're In a Tourist Trap, number one would definitely be They've got a Smushed Penny Machine Somewhere on the Premises. For a mere fifty cents, anyone (you, me, cousin Bob) can imprint a nice, shiny penny with some weird logo depicting your current location. You know, in case you end up dead along a roadside somewhere... at least people will know where you were before you died. ...Unless of course your murderer mugs you for your penny and makes off with it. But whatever, the point is that smushed pennies are the ultimate touristy thing, and I happen to love them. If you aren't sure what they are, you've definitely come to the right place. You may run screaming at any time during the following presentation... First off, Penny-Smushing Machines come in many different forms, and each one stamps a different design on your coin. Here are some examples: On your left, you'll see a hand-crank machine. This one allows you to select from four different designs. On your right, you'll find an automatic machine. You get no choice with this one. It's Alligator Man or nothing. Should you happen to find yourself standing before a Smushed Penny machine, you must decide if the design(s) being offered are worth it. If so, you must then find two quarters and one shiny penny amongst your possessions... ... and insert them in their proper place. The machine will accept the pennies and then begin the penny-pounding process. If it's a hand-crank machine, you must help the process along, but whatever... eventually, a newly-stamped penny will emerge! Excitement can now occur! Incredible, isn't it? When else do you have the opportunity to have your penny do THIS: Oh, by the way, did I mention that the original title for this article was going to be Hi, I'm a Big Huge Dork? I didn't think so. On that note, here's my Smushed Penny collection... Total Value: $10.20 Now, if you ask me, $10.20 isn't bad for twenty beautiful souvenirs from three states. And some of those bad boys are old, too... my OMSI dinosaur one is at least 16. And I'm sure somebody would pay more than $.51 for my Jurassic Park penny or my Star Trek penny... as for Pluto, it's anyone's guess, really. So, uh... that's all I have to say about smushed pennies. Except... Pennies Forever! Leave a message in the guestbook to comment on this article. :) (c)2004 AlligatorJuice.com Pennies were procured at Knotts Berry Farm, Universal Studios Hollywood & Disneyland in California, OMSI, Seaside, and the Tillamook Cheese Factory in Oregon, and the Free Museum in Long Beach, Washington. Get your own.