|  It must be nice to be crazy and rich. If you're crazy and poor, what can you do? Compose poetry on the sidewalk? But if you're crazy and rich, you can be like Mrs. Winchester and build the wackiest mansion in the world. It's a noble goal, it is. Start saving those pennies now! Back in the 1800's, Sarah Winchester was a pretty normal woman. She lived in a farmhouse with her husband, heir to the Winchester Rifle fortune. The had a kid together, but the baby died. Then Mr. Winchester kicked the bucket, too. So Sarah? Well, apparently, she went insane. Prompted by spirits, she hired architects and craftsmen to extend her humble home -- add on... build crazy things... make it enormous and crazy and convoluted. 100-odd years later? The house a tourist attraction in San Jose, California. The first time I heard about the Winchester Mystery House, I was watching a Travel Channel special on houses with secret passageways and other oddities. Most people would probably watch this kind of show and go Hmmm, weird. Me? I'm more of a I must have that house! kind of person. One of my dreams in life is to build a house with secret passageways galore. I have it all planned out. I just lack the funds. Sadly, I don't think Sarah Winchester really wanted any of the strange things. She believed spirits were haunting her; and, in order to appease the restless beings, she did their bidding. Yeah, cuz if I was a spirit, I'm sure I'd be all, "Hey, lady, build me a staircase that goes nowhere!" There are some who say she did all these crazy things in order to confuse the spirits, but if that's true, then why did she have a whole room set aside for communing with them? Personally, I think she and the spirits were chums. So was she an artist? An eccentric? One grape shy of a bunch? I don't know, exactly, but I can say she left behind one very cool house. If you've been to the Winchester House recently, you may want to just skip the rest of this article, because it's nothing you haven't already seen. But for those of you who have yet to step foot inside this ancient funhouse, stick around -- I've got photos!  Here's a shot of the front of the Winchester House. If you think that's big, consider the fact that, before the 1906 earthquake, the house peaked at seven stories. Seven. By this time, Mrs. Winchester was the only one living in that gigantic house. Sure, she had servants and stuff, but otherwise she was all by herself. So anyway, when the earthquake shook the house, the seventh story went crashing down, toppling stories five and six, and they were never rebuilt.  This picture was taken from an upper-story window. What I love about this house is the fact that it is comprised of what appear to be a bunch of smaller houses smushed together. Wouldn't it be awesome to live here? If your bedroom just happened to be that room there on the left, you could climb out your window, leap across that tiny gap, and go in another window. Who needs doors? Wait, even better -- wouldn't this be a terrific house to play hide-and-seek in? That's it, I'm moving in. Nobody'll notice, will they?  Here we have the house's smallest cupboard, suitable for storing sheet music and Flat Stanley.  Everyone loves a stained-glass window, right? Legend has it this one was special, because if sunlight shines through it just so, amazing things will happen, just like in Candleshoe... only prettier. Unfortunately, Mrs. Winchester had the window placed on the north wall of the room, and had another building built just beyond it. Real smart.  Mrs. Winchester was so fond of windows that she even had some installed in the floor. Wouldn't you just love to have been a servant in this house? La la la, here I am, just carrying a tray of tea. OMG THERE IS AN OLD LADY STARING AT ME THROUGH THE CEILINGS!! Scary thought, eh?  What you're seeing here is a door. If you open up this door and step through, you will fall down, down, down, and land in one of the many kitchens. Apparently, Mrs. Winchester used to stand here and spy on her servants. But you would think she could have been a little less OBVIOUS ABOUT IT. I mean hello, it's two-way glass, lady. Servant #2: "Poor bitch, doesn't she know we can see her?" Sarah Winchester: "I heard that! You're fired!" Donald Trump: "Copyright infringement!!!" Servant #1: "Where'd HE come from?" Sarah Winchester: "Don't worry, I'll handle this. Mr. Trump, won't you step through this door?" Donald Trump: "Oh, certainly, heh heh." [TRUMP goes through the door and falls to his death.]  Ah, the front door. Only a select few have ever stepped through this portal, Sarah Winchester included. It has now been bolted shut. And, you know, there's that rope there, too, which would deter just about anybody.  Here's the infamous staircase that goes nowhere. I love this, but it makes me laugh, because Mrs. Winchester really seemed to underestimate those spirits. I mean, once they figured out the whole dead-end thing, don't you think they'd be smart enough to not be fooled twice? Not that I know anything about spirits.... From the moment she started having things built on her home until the day she died, Sarah Winchester kept the building projects going. I guess the spirits told her she wasn't allowed to stop, so there was always something being built. I wonder if the architects all breathed a sigh of relief the day she died? I know I would have. But just think -- if she had lived another year or two, what other interesting things could have been added to the house? *An elaborate servant-call system, which allowed Mrs. Winchester's servants to see which area of the house she was currently in. *A chimney that is several stories tall, but that stops before it goes through the final ceiling, making all the fireplaces connected to it completely pointless. *A cupboard/closet that is so big, it is shared by multiple rooms in the house -- and could also be considered a secret passageway. The mansion tour lasts about an hour, and can be a bit overwhelming, but it's also fascinating. The only thing that disappointed me was the fact that none of the furniture that's in the house (now) actually belonged to Sarah Winchester... after she died, it was sold at auction by her niece or somebody. However, some of the light and plumbing fixtures are still intact, and you can see the original fireplaces, flooring, and very expensive wallpaper. And the architecture is just... wow. It's haphazard and freaky and fascinating and mindboggling.  And I still want that house. Visit the official site: winchestermysteryhouse.com 16 October 2005 Leave a message in the guestbook or the the blog to comment on this article. :) Back to Life Back to Main  (c)2005 AlligatorJuice.com |