|  I started watching Wheel of Fortune when I was in preschool. When I was four, I colored a picture of three contestants hovering above a giant wheel. Behind each player was a circle -- red on the left, blue on the right, yellow in the middle. I was so proud of that drawing. Wheel of Fortune was a very different show in 1984. There were three rounds, then a bonus round. Between each round, the winning contestant would get to view and select pieces from a showcase of prizes -- paintings, televisions, ceramic dogs. My family and I watched it nightly. By the time I entered kindergarten, I knew my vowels, thanks to this show. I knew S and T were good letters to choose. N, R, and L were okay. D, C, G, H, M and W? Eh, if you must. Pick a Q and you're just going to get laughed at. BZZZZ. You lose. 
Pat Sajak was hilarious. Once, many years ago, he was wearing a bright yellow suit coat. About halfway through the show, he randomly announced that a gorilla had tried to attack him during the commercial break. Vanna White was the most beautiful, glamorous woman in the world. Her gowns were long and sparkly. I remember one time putting on one of my lacy slips and strutting in front of my mirror, pretending to turn letters on a magical board. Some kids pin a towel to their shirts and pretend to be Superman. I emulated Vanna White. The show changed with each passing year. The prizes -- His & Hers cars, swimming pools, yachts, Oriental rugs and big cash prizes -- got better; the number of rounds increased. New categories were added -- Before & After, Same Name, Actor & Role. The colored circles behind the contestants became diamonds, then those gave way to a picture screen. 
When I was eight, my family would often visit my relatives. My uncle was always teetering on the cutting edge of technology; in 1989, this meant he owned a computer. One of the games my cousin Sarah and I would play was Wheel of Fortune. 
The Commodore 64 version hadn't been granted rights to the real Wheel of Fortune theme song; instead we were treated to a digital rendition of "Stars & Stripes Forever." You had to have three players, and if there was no human player to occupy that third slot, the computer would assign some random AI-player named something like Melba. Melba was so good, she'd kick our third-grade butts and take home all the money. Eventually it occurred to us to make up a pretend player for the blue position, and when it was that person's turn, make them pick the letters Q, Z, X... all the lame letters. Fake Player Three would lose, we'd win, everyone was happy. By that time, I was very much obsessed with Wheel of Fortune. To indulge my enthusiasm, my dad made us our very own Wheel of Fortune game. The wheel was a Lazy Susan/plastic turntable with a round piece of wood on top. Taped to the wood were construction paper wedges with different dollar amounts written on them. Around the edge, he pounded tiny nails so the wheel would make that trademark clickedy sound as the wheel spun. A triangle shaped "pointer" on the outside edge determined what you had spun. He made up puzzles. We solved them. When I hit teenagerhood, I stopped watching Wheel of Fortune. I had other TV shows I was into -- like Full House. Oh, how I loved Full House. And then, one day, these two fandoms unexpectedly merged.  
Vanna White guest-starred on Full House in a SAT dream sequence provided by D.J. Tanner. Though the show lost my interest, I still liked the concept of the game. A few years ago, I saw a PC version, Wheel of Fortune 2003, for sale at Office Depot. It seemed like a steal at $2.00, so I brought it home. This one was actually sanctioned by the show, and had a digital Vanna. 
The game was possessed. I immediately saw why it had been marked down to such a low price. My brother and I played it, and within fifteen minutes, we wanted to beat the crap out of Vanna. We'd constantly land on Bankrupt and Lose a Turn. Every time this happened, Vanna would go "ohhh... too bad!" or something similar... but the look on her face suggested she was laughing at you. 
Vanna White had officially become the dog from Duck Hunt. My brother bought me yet another version a few months ago. This one was a handheld game you plugged into the AV ports on your TV. 
Packaged into one neat little deal, and complete with over 800 puzzles -- and room for an expansion pack, it had one majorly good thing going for it -- Vanna White was nowhere to be seen. So there were only three rounds, and no theme song, and no Pat Sajak either, but it was quite fun. And then there's the show itself, which despite the cosmetic changes and a few rule and prize differences, is still the same overall. Spin, guess consonants, buy vowels, solve puzzles. Wheel of Fortune -- it's kind of like life. Yes, I went there. The metaphorical route. Hear me out.... SPINNING THE WHEEL -- In life, we gamble. We strive for the "big money!", the so-called happiness that comes with adding more and more things to the mix (job, spouse, kids, nice house, pool in the backyard, poodle, timeshare, sports car, success). We work to accumulate it. Eventually we may look like we have it all. But life is fickle. That pressure to spin just one more time to increase our stature can land us on Bankrupt. And just like that -- our turn is over, there's that slide trombone sound and the audience collectively groans. FREE SPINS -- Sometimes we get second chances, even ones we don't deserve. Free Spins are given out sparingly, and they remind us that if things had been just a little different, we could have lost everything. LOSE A TURN -- You may be down, but you're not out. Maybe an illness knocks you off your feet for a couple of weeks... your car breaks down and needs repairs... you get laid off from work. Lose a Turns trip you up, but you haven't lost it all... there's still a chance you can pick up where you left off and get back in the game. 
BANKRUPT -- These are the events that shatter us. Loss of a job, death of a loved one, or total financial ruin... the things that happen that kick us in the gut with a giant boot. Can you recover? Sure, probably. But it's not going to be easy. $5000 SPACE -- No one really expects to ever land on it, as there is only one on the wheel. It's one of those nice surprises -- like a new best friend, a new baby, an inheritance, some very good news. They may not come around very often, but when they do, it's reason to cheer. PRIZE SPACES -- Guess a letter correctly, and you get to pick up that triangle with "Trip" written on it -- good for a vacation to Maui. But if you don't solve the puzzle -- or if you get a Bankrupt before you do -- you lose the prize. Sometimes in life we are granted opportunities for wonderful things... and without warning, many of these chances slip through our fingers. Grab them while you can, and hang on tight. GUESSING A LETTER -- There are strategies involved in Wheel of Fortune... some letters appear in words more often than others. Players also have to remember which letters have already been guessed. I was watching it the other night, and a woman guessed "H" -- and not only had "H" been guessed, but it was already on the board! Upon realizing her mistake, she groaned, probably hating herself. It's all about choices... sometimes we make decisions in good faith, with nothing to guide us. A person guessing the first letter on a new puzzle might pick "T" -- it may be there, it may not... it's all luck at that point. As the game progresses, a person may make stupid mistakes (like "H" girl) or may be unable to see the big picture (ie solve the puzzle), thus guessing letters that are not there. Other players who know the answer to the puzzle will quickly gain from that player's losses. In life we make choices, sometimes without anything to guide us. If we can learn from our mistakes and start visualizing the end product (that solved puzzle) for what it is, we may get some direction and be more successful. Then again, maybe not. 
BUYING A VOWEL -- It may dent the pocketbook, but sometimes you need to do it. Doctor's visits, car repairs, home improvements. You may be able to live without them, but they can certainly help make life easier. SOLVING THE PUZZLE -- Choosing when to solve a puzzle is key. What if you know the answer, but there are still at least seven consonants that haven't been selected, that you just know are in the puzzle? You know exactly what to pick, but before you can guess a letter, you must spin the wheel. It's a gamble -- what if you land on Lose a Turn, or Bankrupt? If you solve it the second you know it, you may miss out on making a lot more money. It's all about timing... knowing when to stop and when to keep going... but at the same time, it's about luck. You don't know what space that wheel will land on. So do you play it safe, or do you take risks? If you guess as many letters as you can, and just when you're about to guess that very last one, you land on a Lose a Turn, you are practically handing the game to the next player, who will no doubt be quite grateful. Our losses are often others' gains. If you drop $20 on the street, it's your loss. But to whoever finds it, you've just made their day. Success in life comes from knowing when to stop, knowing when to pursue something -- and knowing that sometimes you just don't know, and being okay with that. No matter how much you practice, no matter how good you are at solving puzzles, there is always a chance that you will make a mistake... a mistake that has nothing to do with the luck of the wheel. The other night I was watching the show, and one of the players was on a roll. I knew he knew the answer to the puzzle; I could see the excitement on his face. He spun the wheel and then guessed the letter U. The audience became deadly silent. As soon as he realized what he'd done, the player buried his face in his hands. 
We all make dumb mistakes, especially under pressure. Maybe it's just easier watching the mistakes play out on a game show, where the contestants have everything to gain and nothing to lose. They can walk away from playing the game having won nothing, but it's not like they have to pay Pat and Vanna a hefty sum, either. Game shows are nice like that -- you can win or you can not win, but in the end, it's either good or it's nothing... it's never bad. Okay, so there's the potential for humiliation, and your ego might get shot... but I seriously hope the contestants of these games aren't all taking it so seriously. As seriously as I'm taking this Wheel of Fortune/Life metaphor. Hey, I haven't written an article in two months, I'm allowed to babble. So Wheel of Fortune is the story of our lives -- Vanna is that beautiful person we want but can't have, Pat Sajak is that goofy uncle who keeps things from ever getting dull at family get-togethers, the studio audience is our friends and foes, Charlie is some all-knowing deity, and we're the contestants. It's part skill, part dumb luck, part gaining from others' mistakes. And so it goes on spinning. The world, the wheel, whatever. 
8/11/2006 (c)2006 AlligatorJuice.com  |