ME AND MY HORMONES
Starring: Courtney Peldon, Robin Strasser, Marion Ross, Stuart Damon, Aaron Michael Metchik, Asher Metchik
Original Airdate: 1996
Type: Afterschool Special
So in case you didn't know, there is a garden inside every woman in which flowers bloom. They bloom gloriously and magically... until the time comes when they shrivel up, die, and become mulch. Never is this process more clearly -- or hilariously -- explained than in the Afterschool Special Me and My Hormones.
This is the story of three generations of females. 13-year-old Megan gets her period for the first time, and has a run-in with a tampon applicator at school. Mom has just started going through menopause. This is evidenced by the fact that she has hotflashes -- and daydreams where she beats up a lady with a fan in order to steal said fan in order to alleviate said hotflashes. Grandma is now a "Senior Citizen" and is ready to move into an old folks' home. None of these women can talk to each other without embarrassment and/or feeling too old to live.
I have one word for this TV-Movie: antiquated. It's so cheesy, it should be a factory in Tillamook, Oregon. And the ironic thing? There's a daydream sequence where Megan imagines her family to be members of a really lame 70's sitcom. Like ha, ha, 70's sitcoms sure were silly. We're in 1996 now, so we're hip. Newsflash -- Me and My Hormones could beat up The Brady Bunch in a lamery contest.
Here are a few things I learned while watching Me and My Hormones:
*Mothers are old lol.
*Mothers just don't understand.
*When parents give "the talk" it is hilarious to their children.
*Children = confused.
*Sara Gilbert wants to murder me.
People like to talk about how being a woman is a glorious thing, but when it comes right down to it?
Lies. All lies.
This is one of several movies that feature both of the Metchik brothers. We've seen them before in Trading Mom, and I guarantee we'll see them again.
An admirable attempt, a total joke, best suited for 8-year-old girls who want to know what it's like to be a really obnoxious woman, and the cheesiest TV-movie since Too Young To Be A Dad.
Wow.
9/8/2006
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