So then there was the time we trashed our lot.
We were mad at the papergirl; she was always coming onto our lot and leaving her trashy newspaper on our sidewalk. Try as we might to run her down, we had one failure after another. One night we tried forming a human chain at the end of the sidewalk, thinking maybe we could trap her on our lot...
She walked right through us. Without a care in the world! And that got us mad. And thus, the Papergirl Booby-Trapping Project began. We lined the sidewalk with plates, dozens and dozens of them. We had buffet plates, hamburger plates, cake plates -- even random piles of trash, and the occasional puddle. We weren't sure any of it would stop her, but we certainly had to try...
We waited and waited, and finally 8am Sim Time came... and onto our lot she walked...
Alas, despite all our efforts, the papergirl just breezed down the sidewalk, walked through the plates, left us a brand new newspaper, and went on her merry way.
But since we we had all the plates and everything out, we thought... well... why not torture the maid next? It is a proven fact that the maid, unlike the papergirl, does get frustrated by the evil things we do to her, and can easily be thwarted. So we decided to mess with her next. But before we called to hire her, we wanted to make sure we'd properly prepared the place for her. So we invited our friends over and started trashing the place even more! Teri got on the grill and started making some Boca burgers, Chad and Marilyn and I started pigging out on cake, and we even started a few fires just to give the maid ashes to sweep. (Wasn't that thoughtful of us?)
We worked long into the Sim night, preparing for the maid's arrival. Our room scores were at 0, and we were very, very tired...
...and yet we pressed on.
When the maid arrived, she surveyed the scene and got right to work...
and she worked...
and she worked...
and... well, you the idea.
But as hard as she worked...
...we just kept making her work harder.
If you're beginning to feel even slightly sorry for the maid, please stop. The woman is a menace. She's always standing around scratching her behind, looking confused. And then she takes our money for a job poorly done. One time, my Sim was standing in front of the toilet. The maid desperately wanted to clean said toilet, but I was in her way. She stood there for over two Sim hours just pointing angrily at me, before I finally let her clean the damn thing. Talk about inefficiency!
Despite two days' worth of visits from the maid, our lot still never did get clean -- we had to finish the job ourselves. So I don't think there will be any more plate fun or NPC torture at You're Welcome for awhile... so maids, repairmen, gardeners, rest easy. We're going to leave you the hell alone. As for the papergirl? Watch out, woman.
