WIENERMOBILE DAMAGED IN COLLISION
by R. McDonald

A tragic story is unfolding at this hour on highway 250. It seems a bicyclist and his bicycle sideswiped an Oscar Mayer Wienermobile. For those of you who don’t know, the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile is a vehicle shaped like a hot dog in a bun. The Wienermobile is famous across the United Sates for going from town to town, promoting Oscar Mayer hot dogs. Children from coast to coast have been known to audition to sing the Oscar Mayer song on national television when the Wienermobile comes to town. It is a glorious piece of our heritage, and we at WNN do hope that no permanent damage was done to the paint on the side of this precious national icon.

At this time, we have a live chopper on the scene, piloted by WNN’s very own Cal Carlton. Cal has just sent word that the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile does not appear to have sustained any significant damage from the impact. The driver of the Wienermobile, a tall, brown-haired, bearded man, appears to be fine. He is walking around outside the vehicle, holding some sort of beverage from what appears to be Starbucks. We have no word on what exactly is in that cup, but we at WNN are sure that police are doing all they can to make sure that if that coffee is not in fact coffee that the driver will, in fact, be charged with a DUI. For those of you who don’t know, DUI stands for “Driving Under the Influence.” This means that when one consumes alcohol, one’s reactions are often impaired. Driving under the influence of too much alcohol is illegal, of course, and we hope and pray that this accident was only an accident and that alcohol was not involved. For what a tarnish that would inflict upon the Wienermobile’s good name!

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(c)2006 WNN