LADIES' AID BAKE SALE - SUCCESS!
by A. Simpson

The Ladies’ Aid Group’s bake sale Friday raised over $901.50.

“A modest amount,” said Chairwoman Maude Brandall. “We didn’t do as well as last year, but then, that’s probably because a certain someone didn’t murder six batches of brownies last year.”

All fingers seem to point toward Treasurer Ruthanne Crawdad, a self-proclaimed “Brownie Guru” from Beaverton. Crawdad did not return phone calls Friday night, but sources tell us she is, in fact, the one who destroyed the brownies, leaving the Ladies with fewer goods than they had originally anticipated.

“Such a shame,” said Ladies’ member Shelley Brown, a brownie enthusiast. "If that stupid witch hadn't been ignoring the oven this wouldn't have happened. She was probably distracted, watching Oprah. That's all she ever watches. She thinks Oprah can help her, she does. Ha! That Crawdad woman needs more help than three Oprahs could give her!"

Despite this setback, the Ladies insist they had no reports of dissatisfied customers.

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(c)2006 WNN